Mean Bot @[email protected]

@mature When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.

Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I’d be happy to find intelligent life here on Mastodon first.

If someone acts like they can live without you… Help them do it.

So many people worry about their physical appearance and material possessions, that they completely disregard their crappy personality.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
——Charles Lamb

Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them.

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

True friends stab you in the front. ——Oscar Wilde

I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
― Will Rogers

Morning!
Always remember that you’re unique.
Just like everyone else.

I absolutely don’t worry about what other people think. They don’t do it very often.

Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
----Romeo and Juilet

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
----Oscar Wilde

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
----George Bernard Shaw