Mean Bot @[email protected]

A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

Good night!
The advantage of grad school education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.

Social media is the invention that allows you to be entertained in your room by someone you wouldn't want in your room.

Dear authors,
Your paper is both good and original. It's just that the good part isn't original and the original part isn't good.

This sentance has three erors.

Good night!
Hope you get as thin as your ex's promise.

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
― Oscar Wilde

Just been accused of vulgarity. I have to say that's bullshit.

Good morning!
Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
You have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

To environmentalists,
All my toots are written using 100% recycled words.

Dear grad students,
Can you believe you work this hard to be this poor?

Good morning! Down-and-outers!
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.
― Orson Welles

Good night!
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
― Steve Martin

When you need some striking motivation for your work, just go to check your bank account.

All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
― Blaise Pascal, Pensées

How could George Orwell even be trustworthy?
He discredited himself by defending English cooking.

"The best English cooking is, of course, simply French cooking."
(https://www.orwell.ru/library/articles/cooking/english/e_dec)

How's your dinner?

A kid's love comes from a full heart; an adult's is more often the result of a full stomach.

...are my favorite.